But I'm a Boy

When we lived in LA, we got cable included in our rent at family housing. This meant lots of Disney Jr and Nick Jr shows for Dina and Abel. One of their favorites was Doc McStuffins. Doc is a 6 year old girl who is a toy doctor. Her mom is a pediatrician and her dad is a stay at home dad. This must have made quite the impression on Abel because:

Me: well you can be a doctor too

Abel: but I'm a boy

Me: *confused* boys can be doctors too (#feminism)

Abel: *skeptical* I don't think so

Mind you, at least half of the pediatricians they saw at UCLA pediatrics were men, so I guess a cartoon show had more of an impression on Abel than real life people. He eventually found out boys could be doctors too, leading to his desire to become a neurologist. 

4 yo Abel at our family housing apartment

Funny kids

When the Dina and Abel started talking, my sister and I would text each other with funny things our kids said. I eventually started a note on my phone with all of these things. I titled it Funny Kids.

Much like with this blog, I am so grateful to my former tired self for doing this. I would have for sure forgotten a lot of these things if I hadn’t written them down. 

The story for the first quote is this: When Dina was in kindergarten, we lived in the boondocks of Hemet. I had to drive Dina and Abel to the bus stop at 7 AM and then pick them up from an even farther location after school because they were in an after school program. I did not have a job back then but there were enrichment activities and I would rather they stay entertained at school than be bored at home. They would get home at around 6 ish. There was no nap in kindergarten and Dina was exhausted most days after school. She would oftentimes fall asleep in the car and I would have to wake her up to eat dinner when we got home. One day, she had enough of waking up to eat dinner. Hence “WHY DO WE HAVE TO EAT DINNER EVERYDAY??!!”

Kindergarten Dina

I spontaneously remembered this quote during Covid when I had to start cooking lunch and dinner everyday. Why do these kids want three meals everyday??

One more story about Dina: second grade Dina had a ruler with former presidents. "But its not complete, mami. It doesn't have Barack Obama or Donald Duck. I mean Donald... Dump!"

This is why we can't have nice things

One day, I was driving around Minneapolis with just Abel for some reason and I was listening to Reputation. "This is why we can't have nice things" came on. Its a good song. Abel, 8, likes it and asks:

Abel: Whats the name of this song?

Me: This is why we can't have nice things

Abel: Why??

Me: *confused*

Abel: *worried*

Me: No, I mean thats the name of the song. "This is why we can't have nice things."

Abel: *relieved* Oh, haha

Lunch with my baby boy at his elementary school 

Made me think of:

Another misunderstanding:

When Dina was in first grade, Rudy tried to help her with math homework.

"Take a picture and send it to Tia Nini!"

Rudy: Ok, imagine you have $5 and I take away $2, how many dollars do you -
Dina: Why did you take my dollars??!!
Rudy: No, Dina, its just pretend. I'm trying to explain -
Dina: But why did you take them? Give them back!

22 mo Abel and 8 mo Dina

Social Butterfly

Abel was a sociable infant and toddler but then became introverted from grades 2-9 ish. Dina has always been painfully introverted, like her mama. You couldn't look at her as a toddler because she would have a fit. 

Elena, however, came out all extroverted. It was very weird to me. I remember one time when we lived in Minneapolis, we went to a kiddie pool over the summer; this one specifically (I got it from Google Maps because lost hard drive):

Elena was 5 at the time. There were two girls sitting on the far end of the pool, about 6-8 years old. Elena walked all the way over there and sits between them! She starts participating in the conversation like they're old friends. At first, the little girls were confused but then they just welcomed her. 

A different Mpls pool

Whenever we would go to a park, Dina and Abel would linger around me for up to 20 minutes before venturing off but not Elena. She saw kids, she talked to kids, she became friends with kids. Sometimes, Dina and Abel would use Elena to communicate with other kids: "Laney, go ask those kids if we can play with their skateboard." Or "Laney, go ask those kids if we can have a turn on the swings." And she would happily oblige.

Little photo shoot at our Ramsey house

Sea World during Winter break

Walking to Dina's gymnastics class. It was no more than 40 degrees that November morning.

At one of many quality public libraries in Minneapolis

Story about this next picture. Elena mostly went by Laney when she was little. Abel was working on some homework and asked of he should write down Elena or Laney. Laney says "My name is Princess of Avalor."

For your reference

Field day or something at Ramsey Elementary

Playing with duck poop water in Guatemala with her newest best friend

Elena was the only child who got me as a stay at home mom. She looked extra cute (or maybe I did lol) and we did a selfie. Circa winter 2015/2016:

If there was a guaranteed event day to day, it was that Laney would find a way to get dirty

I thought you were a doctor

When Dina and Abel were 2 and 3, they asked too many questions and I was easily over stimulated. I ended up setting a rule that they are only allowed to ask me three questions each per day and no talking to me while I drove. At first Dina would ask a whole bunch of silly, redundant questions right after each other and easily go through her 3 questions. At some point, it occurred to Abel to work together to ensure they get maximum knowledge from their combined six questions and he would screen her questions before they came to me. They were preschoolers with preschooler questions so I always had answers. 

8 yo Dina at the MN Children's Museum

I don’t remember how old Dina was but one day she asked me a (I think) technical question and I said “I don’t know.” To say she was appalled is an understatement. “YOU DON’T???” Up to this point in her life, mami was an all knowing being. I didn’t realize she had such high standards for me. I still don’t remember what the question was; I just hope I actually didn’t know the answer, that I wasn’t just being lazy. 

8 yo Dina at the Mpls Farmer's Market

Earlier this week, one of Amy’s friends threw up after school. Amy remembered that the last time she threw up, she did so on my bed. I remember that too. This got her thinking about the mechanism of action of throwing up, apparently. 

Amy: How do people throw up anyway?
Me: The food just comes out their mouth 
Amy: How?
Me: (already overstimulated from previous questions) I don’t know 
Amy: I thought you were a doctor 

Amy on her first visit to Minnesota

I proceeded to fully answer the question, not holding back on medical terminology. The questions kept coming. We eventually got home and she stopped asking questions.

6 yo Dina, I don't think I'm allowed to post 15 yo Dina

Back to Dina. As I have previously mentioned, I majored in math. I used to dream of the day my kids got to algebra+ so I could help them with their math homework. I don't really understand how school math works these days. They don't call it algebra 1, algebra 2, geometry, etc. So I still kinda don't know what math they are doing now. But they don't ask for help! Until one day, freshman Dina asked for math help. I have no idea what kind of math this is, but she's a freshman, I got this. But it took me a minute. Or 10. I eventually figured it out but she lost respect for my math abilities and has never asked for help again. 

Living in Minnesota

 

A very common question I get when people find out I did medical school in Minnesota is "Why?" I've always known I wanted to do primary care and the University of Minnesota is very good at primary care so I applied. I also liked the idea of having seasons. I grew up in Socal and Arizona, so I grew up with hot and hotter. Minnesota weather is about 6 months of winter and two months each of the other three seasons, except one month each of Spring and Fall feel like Winter lite. 

 

At the MN state fair

Living in socal, we had to "drive to the snow" so imagine my delight in opening my front door in Minneapolis and seeing snow. I remember the first few times of snow, I thought "look at all this free snow!" Little kids don't feel cold as long as they are not bored. Abel would routinely walk outside in 20 degrees with just a short sleeve shirt because "its not that cold." I've lost most of our Minnesota winter pictures in a misplaced hard drive. I've embraced the cloud since discovering I lost that hard drive.

Minnesota Children's Museum

In addition to enjoying the four seasons, medical school in Minnesota came with living in Minneapolis for two years due to normal class schedule M-F. Minneapolis has a light rail system and the kids LOVED riding the light rail. It was not a regular part of our life there, just mine, so we would literally just get on the light rail for the sake of getting on the light rail. It was like riding the city bus in LA. 

Minneapolis has kiddie 18 in pools throughout the city for littles

During our time in Minneapolis, the kids enjoyed subsidized karate and gymnastics classes, free swimming pools in the summer, free skating rinks and skate rentals in the winter, many well-kept parks, and access to things like the free Como Zoo and Minnesota Children's Museum. It was here that I discovered that I do, in fact, like city life. Well city lite, I could never live in the downtown area. I missed all this access when we moved 30 miles north to Ramsey. The house came with a 1 acre lot and no landlord. Our duplex landlord in Minneapolis complained about the kids running up the stairs, leaving their bikes in the front lawn, and other stuff I've already blocked out. 

Mowing the lawn. No sprinklers, this the driest it got.

In the winter, our deck became a second fridge / provider of snow cone snow

In medical school, I discovered that I am a good enough parent. Which sounds worse than it is, but very accurate in my case. I have no patience but I try. I never got to do activities as a kid and I did not want to perpetuate that for my kids. So I planned visits to the zoo, to the museum, got them enrolled in karate, did the water coloring on the deck during the spring. All while trying to drink from the fire hydrant that was medical school. I could have 100% done more, so good enough, indeed.

Water color painting on our deck

Before I Forget

 The other day I was looking for my UCLA transcript because I wanted to apply to grad school for a masters in public health (I got a little bored with my wonderful, stable life). I didn't find it but I did find an old math paper where I used Berkeley Madonna software. I told a friend I did not even remember learning Berkely Madonna and he said something about trauma and memory. I've never explicitly thought of my time at UCLA with three kids as traumatic but I got the gist. Anyway, that made me wonder how many memories I might have lost and how many more I will continue to lose if I don't write them down. So I'm going through old pictures and recalling memories before I forget.

Days after Abel's 8th birthday

Some of the reasons I stuck with medicine even when it looked bleak for me are that I love science, I love learning - I never want to stop learning, and I love divulging knowledge. Part of my flavor of math major was taking a whole year of neuroscience. I would come home after lecture and tell Rudy and the kids fascinating stuff I learned. Rudy and Dina did not care very much but Abel was like a sponge. He loved neuroscience too. He was four-ish at the time so did not even begin to comprehend but was interested nonetheless. By the time I started medical school, he had decided he wanted to be a neurologist. Yes, he asked for the correct term. He wanted to be a neurologist, not just a brain doctor. 

Abel was 5 years old when I graduated from UCLA

Come my final clerkship of third year of medical school and the neuroscience knowledge divulging continues. I start sharing that, in addition to sleep walkers, there are sleep cookers. People get up out of bed and cook while still fully asleep! Abel asks "Are their recipes accurate? Like if they are cooking soup, do they get the ingredients correct?" This is May 2019 so Abel is 10 years old and in 4th grade. So I'm already breaking my own rules but I think he'll allow it. Anyway, I don't actually know the answer to that question and I had not thought of that question either. I love the question. The next day, we are meeting with our clerkship director and he loves the question too! He happens to also be a sleep medicine doctor and is actively involved in sleep research. The answer is no. The recipes are not accurate and patients oftentimes get sick from eating undercooked / uncooked meat and other stuff that should be cooked. 

9 yo Abel at the MN Children's Museum

Another quick thing about little Abel: the first time we went to Guatemala in 2016, he was appalled to learn that there are so many "free dogs" (stray dogs) that did not have someone to feed them. He almost cried and obliged Rudy and I to buy a bag of dog food so that he could feed any dog he saw. The neighborhood dogs got so fat during the six weeks we were there.

We quickly learned that little bags were

not going to cut it.